So this week was pretty up and down. On Monday I was named a Questbridge finalist (yay) and so now I have to prepare apps for USC and Stanford by November 1st (double yay). I'm excited, but kind of bummed since I can't apply early action to any other schools. It was a giant risk I wasn't entirely aware of when I applied, but I guess I'll have to deal with it.

My friend also got finalist status and I really hope we get into where we want to go. The problem lies in that she put down the exact same school I did on her match application. I want to be a good sport and all, but I can't help but start feeling insecure after a while. I mean, I'd be happy for her if she got into USC, but if it were at my expense, I would honestly find it hard to swallow and would be angry (mostly at myself) for a long time. This is the same friend that asked me why I liked USC. And since this is my blog and my license to be an asshole, I think I deserve it more based on finances, career path, and just general love for the university. But whatever, we'll see.

Then I had shitty days of loneliness since one of my closer friends at my school had to stay home for the week. I realized just how much time I spent with one person and while she's great, the routine I'd gotten into was totally messed up and I just kind of floated through this week in a not-good way. But whatever. I found useful things to do with myself, which is good. I also got closer with a not-as-close friend which is fantastic since she's generally a really shy person and we managed to connect during conservatory.

I guess the prevailing emotion this week was loneliness and frustration. It wasn't a great week at all. But then again, there were ups, which is good. I just wished I hadn't had such low points along with them since happiness really is a choice and I just chose not to be happy most times. I think I need to learn to forgive myself and more importantly, others. It's not going to benefit me in the long run to be bitter at all of mankind but for some reason, I can't shake the feeling. I'll work on it.

At least I ended my week on a high note! I finally had time to talk to Boy long enough to ask his birthday! It is December 12th. I'd always suspected that he was a winter child. I thought: December, January, or July (don't ask why July). Anyway, I know that he doesn't have many friends his age so hopefully he'll forget he told me by December and be pleasantly (if not awkwardly) surprised by a birthday present and/or card.

I'm going over to a friend's house tomorrow to eat pizza and watch movies and I am so stoked since I've been needing this. Of course, it has to be after I work on my college applications, but still. This weekend is sounding better than this week so far.