It seems that no matter how hard I try to regain some faith in humanity, I always have to prove myself wrong. I honestly just want to get away from here. I'm tired of seeing the same people day by day and doing the same things over and over again. I want something fresh--something new.

I just want to go to college already. My friends and family are great, but I want to meet new people and have a social life and be more and more intellectually enriched day by day. I don't want to be the person from whom people ask for help on their homework or classwork. I want someone to explain something new and interesting to me and discuss sophisticated and controversial topics with me. I want someone new.

I want to leave and come whenever I please because, hell, it's my own damn life. I want to do something different every night and I want to experience as much as I can. I don't want to be stagnant and rot here in a stew of needless stress and drama.

My school is known for being tolerant and fresh and talented and hip and strange and whatnot, but it really isn't that fantastic. I mean, there are wow moment, certainly. But underneath it all, they are all just husks of whoever they saw on television or on the internet. It's just so frustrating to hear them repeat things to me that I'd read once before online or from a book or from a mental stash of overused quotes. They are just so fake and try so hard to be real. It's maddening.

And perhaps this is just teen angst. In fact, it probably is. But I'm not even going to try and fight myself back on this one. Because I've had enough bullshit for the entire school year. I am angry and pissed and frustrated and continually disappointed in my peers and yes, even my family sometimes. People need to seriously get their shit together because I don't want to be the one to pick up the pieces this year.

I can't wait until I graduate and get away from this dull place. There is just so much negativity and the worst part is that I'm negative now as well. Not because of a direct action (ex: someone punching me in the face and telling me I'm a worthless piece of crap) but indirect action (ex: being pouty and unnecessarily pissed at me and passive aggressively channeling all emotions). I'll admit that I've had my share of passive-aggression, but I try not to make it affect more people than necessary.

I want to meet new people with a clean slate and just interact in a pure and enlightening manner. Is that so hard to ask? I hate being tied down to some of the people here. Maybe I don't want to be the one cracking all the jokes and maybe, just maybe, I deserve some measure of respect. I don't know, sounds difficult to process, right?

I hate everyone.